FLASHBACK FRIDAY: OLD SKOOL REALITY TV

I dig Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but do you know what was better? THE SIMPLE LIFE. ROCK OF LOVE. Basically any VH1 reality show. Back in the early 2000s, we were blessed with some of the best (trash) reality television of all time. I watched it all and wish there was an “Early 2000s Reality” section on Netflix. I wish VH1 still had all of those Fabulous Life of… and I love the 90s on, but at least there’s still America’s Next Top Model. There were so many to choose from, but I think these touch on how great we really had it. (warning: the word iconic appears often below)

THE SIMPLE  LIFE

Does better reality TV exist? No, the answer is no. Watching Paris & Nicole work at a Sonic, discover Wal-Mart, clean and do farm work is some of the funniest TV I have ever seen. Inspired by Green Acres, the show was originally supposed to be following Paris and Nicky! Nicky was not into the limelight and opted out at the end. The network then tried Kimberly Stewart and Casey Johnson, but Paris made an agreement with Nicole and the rest is iconic history. I have a few favorite moments, but my top two moments would be the Sonic sign and when Nicole stuck her whole arm up a cow’s butt.

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NEWLYWEDS: NICK & JESSICA

This show is the worst and the best at the same time. Jessica Simpson is reality TV gold. Obviously, the “is this tuna chicken?” is one of the most iconic lines ever delivered on TV, but this show had even better moments believe it or not. Remember when Jessica’s preacher dad recommended she jump out of a birthday cake in lingerie? *barf* Nothing captured the essence of early 2000’s Jessica Simpson quite like her taking a Louis Vuitton bag on a camping trip and then saying she hates the outdoors. My favorite moment was when Jessica spent $750 on some La Perla lingerie. I hated the way Nick got mad at her because it was her money, but her realizing how much it was for two bras and a pair of underwear was so funny to me.

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FLAVOR OF LOVE

Flavor of Love is the trashiest reality TV show of trashy reality TV shows. I’m not sure who looked at Flavor Flav and saw love, but apparently enough women could swing for him for three seasons worth. I loved the clocks, the hats, the suits and Big Rick, but the best part of this show was one person and one person only…Miss Tiffany “New York” Pollard. Was the best part of the show the ultimate showdown…Pumkin vs New York? YES OBVIOUSLY. The spit seen ’round the world. This led to a few spin offs, but none were as good as this show.

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ROCK OF LOVE

Similar to Flavor of Love, this show is extremely trashy and extremely addictive. The show, for three seasons, follows Bret Michaels search for love. Majority of the girls had some hair bleach, flower tattoos, some plastic surgery and were half of his age, but they were amazing. I remember the season with Daisy the most for some reason, but every episode was some weird, trashy Bachelor type contest that made each episode memorable. Rock of Love led to many spin-offs, including Bret Michaels, after picking three winners, on his own solo show.

PRETTY WILD

Pretty Wild filmed one episode before one of the four stars was arrested for being involved in the Bling Ring, a group of teens breaking into homes of celebrities, including Paris Hilton, Rachel Bilson, Orlando Bloom and Lindsay Lohan. The show continued on anyway and we got to watch the drama that unfolded amongst the court case and the Neiers girls quest to be Hollywood it girls. I personally think the mom was the star of the show. She was hilarious and just wanted to be one of the girls so badly. It may only be nine episodes, but boy is it good.

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THE ANNA NICOLE SHOW

Anna Nicole was one of the best things to happen to reality TV. Say what you want about her, but Anna Nicole Smith was unapologetically herself and I love it. She was so genuine and only cared about being happy and true to herself. The show covered EVERYTHING, family drama to money issues to sex to masturbation to laughing at yourself. Nothing was off topic to Anna Nicole. Miss her so much 😦

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BRITNEY & KEVIN: CHAOTIC

Did y’all really think I wouldn’t mention this gem? I’m not a fan of K Fed or this personal chapter of Brit’s life, but I stand by my queen y’all. Britney has expressed this as one of her three regrets (the other two are marriage…), but it was a side of Brit we didn’t get to see and have on DVD forever. Chaotic gave us an insight to the Onyx Hotel Tour, K Fed’s weird rants, some good Fe quotes and Britney’s wedding!!! The best part of the show you ask? PUSSIFIED FOREVS!!!

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HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Paris Hilton’s My New BFF

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

The Ashlee Simpson Show

MTV Diary Of…

The Girls Next Door

Charm School

I Love New York

Daisy of Love

The Osbournes

The Pick Up Artist

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